So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Cor 10:31)
Breakfast—strawberries with vanilla coconut “yogurt”, flaked coconut, and stevia
Lunch—chicken with rosemary, olives, tomato sauce and feta crumbles; beets, curried cauliflower
Dinner/smaller binge—goat cheese and rosemary raisin crackers, I pc quinoa dark chocolate, 2 graham crackers, 2 slices deli turkey, 1 beer, like 6 pc string cheese?
25 minute walk where I felt bloated and gross. Glad I did it and got to take my daughter out on a nice evening
Small victories are I kept up my water and lemon habit that I am trying to establish for the 5th day and also took all my supplements. Binge might have been boredom while watching my daughter watch cartoon. The string cheeses and graham crackers are really for her but I find them too tempting when they are in the house. I still was accountable to myself by writing it out.
I had a real moment last night struggling against negativity because I am going to my 10 yr college homecoming today. I was at my lowest weight my senior year of college basically starving myself on weight watchers (sugar free Kellogg and naps until the next meal to “save energy”). I had lost 30 lbs earlier this year and gained back 20. Feeling like my progress was in vain and not wanting people to see me at this weight (plus acutely feeling the stressors in several other areas of my life) had me very tempted to cancel and not even go. I kept seeing old friends reconnecting on Facebook and my desire to see them all jn the same place at the same time started to win out. I think part of my binge was this indecision and not being able to deal with all the mixed emotions. I wish I could just cry and get it all out or learn how to stop myself in my tracks and write it all down before I binged. I was tempted to call a friend to talk it out but I didn’t for fear or being chastised or feeling even more pathetic. I should have because it’s just making me withdraw socially even more.
I just started listening to a book on tape called “you are not your brain” that warns against “deceptive brain messages” which other people might call negative self talk. One thing that helped me make a positive decision was beginning to recognize and label these thoughts as such. I like how the information was framed because it was more about bad ingrained negative loops in your brain rather than a purposeful beating yourself up which sounds like blaming the victim to me. I will keep listening to it on the drive down to homecoming and reflect more on what I learn.
Breakfast—chocolate coconut chia pudding; water with lemon and stevia
Lunch—roast turkey breast with beets and curry spiced cauliflower
Snack—medifast peanut butter chewy bar
Dinner—grilled chicken breast with oven roasted asparagus and 2 small triangles homemade chickpea flatbread
I would call today a pretty perfect eating day! I wonder what relation that is to me bingeing last night… Thank you God for small victories :)
Breakfast—strawberries with organic greek yogurt, toasted coconut chips, stevia; water with lemon and stevia
lunch—Salad with iceberg lettuce, field greens, shredded carrot, red cabbage, tomatoes, roast turkey, guacamole, chipotle ranch dressing
snack—medifast berry smoothie
BINGE :( — 6 pc toasted Italian white bread with butter, 1 jumbo hot dog, homemade lowfat potato chips, goldfish crackers, lick of brownie batter, 1 bottle pumpkin ale beer, handful of runts candies
My non-scale victories YESTERDAY were going into trader joe’s without buying chocolate, and sticking to my goals of developing a habit of taking my supplements and drinking lemon water the first thing in the morning. I am gearing up for PCOS Diva’s Jumpstart Program and there are lots of changes to be made, so I’m starting with a few small ones. Binge today was no bueno :( BUT I am happy with myself for remaining accountable by writing it down.
On a side note—i got to get home from work early today (probably accounting for my “boredom” binge) and I got to cook lots of random stuff that I don’t normally cook. Brownies for my staff at work (getting the box mix out of the house, yay!), chocolate coconut chia pudding, and soaking some chickpea flour to make this recipe
Breakfast—strawberries, plain greek yogurt, roasted coconut chips, stevia; water with lemon and stevia
Morning snack—medifast chocolate crunch protein bar, popcorn, sea salt and olive oil veggie chips; water with green tea/lemon flavor infuser
"Lunch" because I didn’t have time to eat what I packed—gluten free graham crackers, medifast chili nacho cheese puffs with soy protein, diet cokeAfternoon snack—rosemary raisin crisps with goat cheese, salami, garlic stuffed olives, roasted hazelnuts 25 minute walk Dinner—salad with grilled chicken breast, iceberg lettuce, field greens, shredded carrots, red cabbage, tomatoes, and blue cheese dressing Definitely had some crazy scary annoying low blood sugar moments mid day. Today was so busy, but I got some good PCOS news which was that many of my blood tests were in normal range. I just need to focus on losing weight. So tired. But at least I have good food packed for tomorrow!